A journal entry January 09
I believe birth offers each of us the challenge of reaching deep inside to find our deep trust. It is a pinnacle where we find ourself at our most vulnerable and our most powerful – where our caregivers can either take our power or use our power to create a nightmare chain of events or a magical climax.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour. Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told ‘No’ – my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor. It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habits of accepting the docotr;s word, of staying quiet and not bucking the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby’s divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
A ‘Get that baby out!’ approach to pain relief
I was blessed by having done an enormous amount of preparation work for my labours and births and pharmacological pain relief just didn’t feel like an appropriate way to deal with the sensations for me. My overall feeling after three full term labours and one 3 month miscarriage is that the pain is there to get that baby out! The best pain relief is to listen to the sensation and move accordingly. Jump up and down, rest on one side or another, wiggle, groove, lean, rest, circle, strectch, crawl, march, act on what you can feel. Take the attention away from the extraordinary power of uterine contraction if you can by using the body to respond to it.
I loved acupressure on the lower back and sacrum, using the voice almost as a vibrating tool to connect with the contraction, sing into it, deep and low. My god the memories are full on! I’m not pretending that its all plain sailing but I do know that we are Amazing! ! ! You can cope with it you know?! I have total faith in the incredible nature of our bodies and the symbiotic way that we can move with our babies to Let Go and to birth them into the world.
I have early memories of moving away from painkillers and what a breakthrough it was for me in dealing with illness. My family and I had a flu over Christmas ten years ago, we were all in varous stages but all pretty bed bound. Instead of taking the familiar lemsips and beechams powders, I decided I had nothing to do but to get better and buried my pounding head in the pillow and gave in to the overwhelming surges of sensations in my body. I hallucinated a lot and slept a lot. I remember seeing images of seven pieces of thick leather type material and knew that my task was to sew them all together. I think the most intense and richest part of this experience was a day or two long, although, like labour, the hours and minutes of the outside world are very distant from the rhythm of the body and eventually I woke with an insatiable appetite, nearly fainting as I fixed myself some porridge and joyfully woke up to the world.
And so, after birth is the relief as those contractions finally give way to peace and pain relief. Get that baby out whichever way its going to come!
Weighing up ‘Risk’
A mother makes safe choices. An evolutionary necessity.
You are not going to be doing anything that puts you or your baby at ‘risk’, the human race wouldn’t have got very far if women were inclined to make crazy decisions at the last minute that endangered herself or her young.
If you feel that a c-section is the safest thing for you then you are right. If you envisage labouring for the large part at home and choosing the hospital for the birth then that is the right choice for you. Similarly, women who feel that the safety of a room they have pre-prepared with their family around them is where they will birth most comfortably then this is right for you.
I have avoided the word ‘think’ in that sentence as I believe that the answers to a lot of questions asked in preparation for labour come from an intuitive silent place. A gut feeling, a knowing, that can not always be backed up by statistics (although if someone statistically minded put their mind to it I’m sure the proof would be there!) but has the benefit of being a holistic decision. The decision that you know is right with all of yourself.
If you are unfamiliar with locating this source of knowing, perhaps your breech is a good time to start accessing it.
Ideally make sure you’ll not be interrupted by phones or visitors. Sit on a chair with your back straight and feet flat on the floor or lie down on your left side with carefully positioned cushions. It is helpful to stay awake during this process so choose the time of day for optimum attention!
Take some breaths imaginging that with each inbreath you are renewing your body and mind with fresh bright air and with each outbreath you rae letting go of any concerns and worries – perhaps watch them float away like clouds and trust that you need not think about them for the next few moments. This is time for you and your baby. Just breathing, giving life, giving time.
You could imagine roots growing down from the soles of your feet deep down into the earth, spreading our like the roots of a tree, connecting with the central core of the earth. If that core is a golden ball of light, the light will then come up the roots in to your body and you can picture it filling your body, keeping you grounded and safe. Scan through now and feel that golden light touching your feet and toes, your lower leg, knee, upper leg, pelvis, lower back, belly, your womb and baby nestled there. Follow the light to your centre, somewhere around your heart or solar plexus and let it pool there.
You can imagine a silver ball above the head, glistening with the light of inspiration. This is the place of your life path, individual to you, always available to connect with. Pull a strand of the silver light down, through the top of your head and let it light up each part of the body that it reaches – your scalp, the back of the head, forehead, smoothing any lines as the muscles relax, your face, eyes, jaw, neck, throat, let your shoulder blades lower and relax receiving the golden light and it flows along your upper arms, elbows, lower arms, wrists, hands and fingers. And then feel the silver light mingle with the golden light in your centre. A perfect balance of the nurturing earth and heavenly inspiration. Experience that balance for a moment.
From this central place you can take your attention back to your baby and check in with her or him – is there anything that comes to mind about how they are? Let your mind be soft and see if anything comes. Share any thoughts or feelings that you’d like to with the baby.
This is a good time to notice any fears that you have. Make a note of it for your attention later. Recognise that any places of ill ease as you sit in this quiet space are valuable signposts for areas that need your focus. Perhaps something that you thought you were worried about was a screen for a deeper concern underneath. By exploring a little now in this safe space, you are doing valuable clearing work along the path to a safe and uninhibited birth. Sometimes the worry may disappear quickly and pop as you recognise it, sometimes you may need to let them go knowing that you can come back to them another time.
If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the golden light in your roots and silver light at your crown. Perhaps it helps to concentrate on each inbreath followed by an outbreath. This is a valuable way to centre yourself and stay in the safe moment of connecting with your instinctive truth. Gently scanning through, aware of each part of your body, noticing things and moving on. Perhaps there are no sensations and that is absolutely fine too, its just how you are in this moment.
Gently bringing yourself back by noticing sounds outside the room and inside the room. Wiggling your fingers and toes feeling the chair you are sitting on. Write down anything you would like to as you come back to the here and now. If you find it difficult to come back, stamp your feet and get on with some everyday things. A glass of water is also a great way to come back.
Hanging in first stage
In some cultures there is a birthing tree for women to hang from as contractions come and go. Any position that takes the weight off the feet and pelvic floor, allowing the cervix to open freely… in a house, good places are door frames, tops of doors although you may want to experiment in pregnancy to find suitably heighted places. Our shed has a cross beam which was where I was for the majority of the first stage of baby number 2 and for number 3 I asked a friend to put me some hooks in the ceiling in our lounge. Tied some strong fabric around these to make a beam and heh presto a perfect birthing tool.
I believe this helped me to get the babies down down into the pelvis as I was doing some really inspired leg movements (almost like breast stroke one leg at a time) opening the hips but also such high circular movements as one might associate with the manoevre used with shoulder dystocia, freeing the foetus from being caught on bones.
Intuitively allowing my body to tell me what position i should be in, hanging allows all over body shaking, big stretches throughout to relieve tensions, and of course aides the pull of gravity by releasing any muscles that may stand in its way.
Lets get those hooks into maternity suites!! Just brilliant for pain relief – the best pain relief is to listen and act swiftly to what your body is telling you. This way, that way a bit, swaying, wiggling, swooning, rolling, hanging firm, and words I could not dream of to describe the skilled art in your muscle sequences, known only by you and probably for the most part unconscious.
Safe skills, safe birthing.
my intention
Starting from my own experience of 3 natural births, 2 of which were breech (one diagnosed, one undiagnosed) I aim to present information of use to others who’s baby has chosen breech position.
You can fairly easily find advice about ways to try to get your baby to turn in pregnancy but what if they don’t? Of course the answer is different for different women. I understand my breechies to have been a challenge to listen to my body and be fully present in the birthing process. My births empowered me, they were a vital transition into the massive journey as a woman and a parent. I am glad that I looked beyond the options presented by some midwives and doctors and wanted this to be an easy reference site for others in this position.
Contact me if you’d like more info and I haven’t answered your question yet in this space. Similarly please share your thoughts and stories if you would like to.
Thanks for reading, may this site be of use and of interest.
Ali C
